i love myself

xingxuelaichao. HA!

2009-10-21T09:16:00.000-07:00

decided to activate this blog now. quite bent on kicking my vices(ie EXCESSIVE drinking, oh well, moderate is fine though :p) soon. didnt hit the clubs today with the rest as i felt kinda empty and i'm slowly recovering from a sick bug.

met mq today at a pub by the river at boatquay and had a pint. went to Cavern to only have lizards crawling on the tents abv us. one actually crapped on mq's hands. GROSS. See the spots in the picture below? they are freakking lizards! We ended up chatting alot. Abt her bf and all. Tried to persuade her to go fortune telling with me. Nut i'm kinda hesitant though. Kinda aware of my weak health. What if the fortune teller were to tell me bad stuff? Hmm.. Maybe I'll jusy quikly migrate to Hawaii, suntan and play till i drop. Or meet some Hawaiian guy and date like crazy. But then again, I never liked dating caucasians. Or maybe go Taiwan to find jay chou and make him sing shijiemori to me. hahahahaha..

anywayyyyyy.. the lizards.............

Going for lasik soon. BYEBYE SPEKKY!

2008-08-26T09:47:00.000-07:00

tried opening n closing my mouth countless times aft i came home

but no use!!

mouth refused to get bigger

wisdom tooth growing out

i think

cos i can feel it at the back of my mouth

now i know why babies yell n scream n cry n shriek all the time

bcos they're freakking teething

n i am too!

painnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

n im abit emoish kemoish now

cos things arent the same

think im gonna do smt stupid soon

tts going to just go all unappreciated

n wasted

oh well..

moooooooooody monster

2008-08-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

i lost
im always like that
i hate myself

Haunted

2008-08-21T05:57:00.000-07:00

Stomach feels sick at 9am during this morning's lect

the ciggies didnt help
Flipped updownleftright
Feel like puking
Feel horrible
Dont know why im still feeling like tt

Need to find my remedy like RIGHT NOW

pmsing-m

2008-08-20T11:03:00.000-07:00

badbadbad case of depression tonite

im irritated

im depressed

im pmsing

im dunowad ing

damn gao wei

prob its bcos i cannot get the one thing i wan to get

yes

its gonna sound silly

but ive been wanting to say tt since tt day at the interchange

i wan to be cuddled to slp

n nt by just anyone

there. i said it. off my chest.

think im gonna down some alcohol n knock myself out

hopefully i can make it for tmr's 830 lesson

16/08/08 Back after 2yrs

2008-08-15T15:53:00.000-07:00

This is weird

Looking at all my old entries

I seem so high and all

Maybe i still am

Just probably not in the mood now after a particular big episode which just ended in my life

Or maybe its because i'm a little depressed now

Or maybe i'm just slpy

One thing's for sure, im still rambling and it hasnt changed =)

Been drinking quite abit and picked up some vices

I'm determined to cure myself from these vices soon

Especially since i kinda told him i would

Anyways, random pic

Here i am, 2yrs later

This is me now

Happy things happy thing ended

He came and left and I'm still feeling as lost as how i feel 3 years ago

Will someone hold my hand again and tell me where and how to go?

duno wad title

2006-05-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

we were at select when we saw him.. (2nd time for the dae.. probably the last time) anyway.. i just discovered tt their food's like quite nice! im so gonna eat there next week! instead of golden shoe which is bloody smelly n my lunch buddies fav place-banzhu!! which is actually killiney kopitiam.. which i so cannot stand..

stayed back late agn..
but not as bad as ystd,. ystd was horrible! till 10.30pm! todae was till 8.30..
so late.. i bluffed yekwai n told him i was a social escort.. cos i work till so late.. he believed me.. n ask me wad i do? haf meals?
haha!
probably only he will hire social escorts for meals only..

im gg to HAWAIIIII!!! weeeeeee!!
i wan a new digicam to capture everything on the trip!
im so excited! going with wai ling only!! ive gotten my "hawaii clothes" ready..
:)
but i haven changed any usd yet! better act fast!
gonna be so broke.. just spent 400 plus in two daes.. tour got jacked up to 1900.. 200 dearer.. wad next?

cant tk it.. my neck's gonna fall off.. i need a massage badly man.. to heal my aching neck..

i-hate-thinking-of-titles

2006-05-14T10:11:00.000-07:00

was a reali eventful long weekend i'd say..
had a reali tough time in the office with this particular bond with sooooooo many customers involved on thur.. gonna have it settled n done on mondae.. 40 plus customers.. i dun hafta go hm on monday man.. anyway the mess was cleared up by my dearest mum who told her staff to re do them.. haha.. after all.. tt was her staff's job.. aft clearing up so much shit.. i went to party world agn with P.. sang till i croaked with no voice man.. haha.. its been ages since i croak till like tt.. minus the drunken fiasco i had after dxo..
friday i went tuan's hse for potluck.. there's a reali funny guy called jon.. but bloody irritating cos he calls every girl he sees either vivian or vanessa.. im not saying tt just bcos he forgot my name.. n fyi.. he called me jacilyn.. saw stanley n tianglim still with their gfs.. i reali envy those ppl.. i wunder how issit like to haf a relationship beyong 6mths.. wad do they talk abt.. wad do they do.. will couples get sick of each other.. will couples get bored of each other..theoractically speaking.. the longest relationship i ever had was 6mths.. of course.. my ex would haf said tt i was in self denail bcos he claims its onli 3 mths.. the other 3 was sheer agony cos i practically tortured him.. u cant blame me right.. i was only like wad..14? hoho.. not like now tt i'm 19 there's any diff.. just tt.. 28 yr old guys dun seem old nw.. i'm even with one 34 or 35 yr old one now.. correction.. not i am.. but i was.. cos we kinda broke up todae.. tt explains why im rambling.. rambling.. n just rambling on n on n on..
not like we're together in the first place bcos i nv accepted him assuming the position of my "bf" i guess.. its just him calling me his gf.. but anyway.. now tt he's kinda gone.. i feel weird somehow.. but i'll get over him man. who needs a guy who implies tt i'm cheap.. just bcos i club so much.. not like i go around asking ppl to touch... begging ppl to touch me.. but anyway.. since he cant tolerate.. so be it.. but he should have talked it out nicely first.,. he made me call the entire thing off..now things are abit ugly.. but im sure it''ll be resolved(we wun be together agn.. but it'll end on a happier note).. things will always work out.. i believe..
anyway.. went to attica on sat.. was a purely last min decision.. lesbian fren says she'll open bottle.. then we could all go in fer free.. having spent close to 2000 tt week.. how much more cash could i possibly have on me.. excluding the fact tt i spent close to 200++ cash from my wallet.. we went there in supre kinky n sexy boots frm far east each costing us 60? cam n i got the heels one.. wan got the flatter ones.. cam n i almost died from the sheer pain of walking in those torture equipments.. luckily wan took flat rounded boots.. so she supported us.. we looked drunk swaying frm side to side whi;le walking frm mos to attica.. to n fro to n fro.. but trust me.. it was those killer heels tt were murdering our poor feets giving rise to inabilities in walking.. felt abit paiseh.. we were treated another jug there.. cam hated the crowd there.. buit frankly.. i was alright with it.. i dun mind older men.. but to me its alrite there.. at least u dun get grinded half the time there compared to other clubs.. think they are abv all those stuff.. like wads the pt? if u're interested go up n chat up.. grinding a girl will score u no points at all okay.. took off my boots aft gg out frm attica.. screamed as if i was giving birth by the road.. yesyes.. veyr unglam.. ppl were staring.. but comeon.. haven u seen ur wife give birth n scream in pain b4.. it was damn painful.. the word "damn" being a major understaement.. ive got these little bubble blisters on each toe now.. small little circles n each toe.. if its not for the fact tt the toes belong to me.. i'd think they're rather cute n interesting
gotta end my entry soon.. neck ache acting up agn.. i've got this terrible ailment.. my neck aches aft working for hrs on the computer.. or studying for hrs.. they say my sitting posture is wrong.. but wth.. like wads the right way.. i think its perfectly fine.. k.. besides for the fact tt im slouching a little.. k la.. horrible la.. its a sign for me to leave..
anyway.. went shopping with shirlene todae.. was supposed to help her shop cos she wanted to spend money.. no prizes fer guessing wad happened.. i bought two three times the stuff she bought.. eg.. she bought one top from this shop i bought 2 or 3.. my bank acc is bleeeeeding profusely..
better rest my aching neck..
later..
n yes.. i'll be alrite man.. i sound alrite alr dun i.. sheesh.. i reali dun know man..

late night

2006-05-10T09:54:00.000-07:00

my job is literally sucking the life outta me man..
ive got limited life now.. n my weekends are extremely precious..
cheers to wai ling fer getting aaron man..
n boo to me for being so indecisive.. at least one of us made a decision..

J asked me out today.. i said no!! im so proud of myself.. i bet tuan is too.. cos i said no for him!!

im gg out with paul tmr to hard rock.. but he changed it to party world last min.. hee.. see if i can make him bring me to both.. n plus to cine leisure.. was with tuan when i saw this reali nice skirt.. but too busy running up n down cos one min we were at 4th level.. next min we ran down to get fried sotong... then we were back at 4th level for jap food.. then we ran down for spring roll.. no prizes fer guessing who made who go all the trouble.. *winks*

n i found out tt my dearest tuan is more scardey cat den me man!!
ha ha!
he jumped at almost everything.. n poked me during the show.. he scared me as much as the show did.. n we both screamed at this dead body scene.. he screamed louder than me man..
he;'s such a comic.. horror comic too.. he seriosuly scared the hell outta me.. n i kinda scared myself when i leant back on a woman's back.. hard to explain.. but she wasnt dere in the staion beside me.. n crept up n sat beside me giving me a shock.. btw the show was "when a stranger calls"..
dun watch it..
the plot sucks..
if i had rotten tomatoes.. all of it will be on the screen man..
plus rotten eggs..
rotten tomatoes taste gross man.. tasted a few b4.. nt tt im psycho.. but acc tasted them

n yippee!! gg to hawaii with wai ling the week aft next..
excited man.. gg with fren..
supposed to go aust with lala.. but in the end i didnt go cos we aint gg perth.. the place where my "neighbours" stay nw..

guanrui is pantyprince..

13 apr 2006

2006-04-12T09:23:00.000-07:00

i love my job.. compared to wad my frens are doing.. i realli haf a fantastic job.. i feel grown up n responsible.. there's another guy on the list.. but he's too busy nw.. claiming tt he's slogging it out fer me.. n yadayadayada.. but as gers.. we love hearing such stuff.. heh..

i so wanna travel to france.. vienna.. europe.. venice n wadeva..
i haf this little fantasy whereby i sit in a cafe in a distant foreign exotic land.. sipping hot chocolate.. watching ppl scurry by living thier lives.. haha.. n i seriously wun mind if some hottie picks me up..
hahax.. ya.... just dreaming! cant help it.. so sue me!

speaking of hottie.. was working on sundae with libby n her fren.. rugby match.. loadsa rugby hotties.. of course some spectators were kinda hot too.. libby wrote down his number n add

gg mardi gras tmr.. i think.. wanna borrow bks to occupy myself while im in china..

hope my colleague ben can cope man.. ha! its no ez feat k! not like wad this irritating guy called NN thinks.. he sucks! k.. tt was way childish n way way below me.. but i dun like him.. shall blog abt it another dae..

arghh!

2006-04-01T03:42:00.000-08:00

life is smt kinda unfair.. i cant seem to get wadeva i wan..
wad's ez to get.. i'll not wan it.. wad's difficult to get n wad will end up with me in tears i'll welcome it.
nuts.
go figure

im like in a shit hole now..
seriously..
the exit's just there
but i choose to remain in this shit hole..
im agonising over a simple decision
my colleague hu just left thinks tt he put a curse on me
im gonna do smt really selfish next..
hope im forgiven..
but its the quickest way out frm this shit hole..

i saw randall this actor tt day at raffles place.
he's cute
tania says my eyes "paste stamp"
i beg to differ..

suddenly i became all klutzy
damnn.. it just hadta happen..
drama came!
i dropped this starchy soupy thing i was holding..
n i split it all over myself in frnt of him!
n oddly..
the soup jumped into this indian man's eye n tie..
n he exclaimed "SHIT!"
i was bloody embarrassed man..
i didnt know how high tt soup could fly..
afterall.. it just dropped n landed half bowl full on the floor
didnt noe how it flew.
i couldnt care less abt tt indian man..
small crowd gathered
i acted as if nutting happened n cleaned myself up n silently said shit millions of times in my head..
i told camy n she said "SO DRAMA! YOU"RE SUCH A BIMBO"
bimbo? no.
complete idiot? definately.

2nd dae of cny

2006-01-30T07:38:00.000-08:00

stolen frm my cousin's blog..
my pretty cousins
me,peian,jacilyn
our pretty pink shoes taken in the middle of nowhere

second day of cny

2006-01-30T05:55:00.000-08:00

i deleted the rest of my entries.. sounded so damn stupid.. so GONE THEY ARE! its a new year! nt gonna be bogged down by dumb n silly stuff wallowing in sadness ha! went visiting today.. took a couple of pics at my cousin's hse.. ive got realli pretty cousins.. hahax.. my irritating bro made this comment "wah! they all so pretty u still dare to put ur pic up!" wanna whack him.. shall exercise self restraint.. pity my cousin today.. ive got this realli irritating china aunt.. she kicked my grandparents out frm the hse.. so obviously she isnt reali well liked.. my cousin (her son), this little pri sch boy came along to our gathering.. my dad brought him here bcoz his parents threw/left him with my grandparents.. with his adorable noisy baby bro my aunties passed loadsa sarcastic remarks to him.. they sae he woulndt understand anyway.. but i bet he did.. its nt reali his fault.. but sumhow i guess everyone just needed an outlet? but i wonder how he felt.. he just sat there quietly n kept eating n eating n eating n whispering softly for more soup.. he isnt usually tt quiet.. so i bet the remarks got him my aunties were damn funny man! they ltr told him to ask his mom to bring 100 xiaolongbaos otherwise they'll use him as xiaolongbao meat to eat.. no idea why but it was damn funny partially bcos he's white n rotound but he's soooo cute...